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As she swiped, she pulled up a young man who was of Chinese descent and said, “I’d never go out with him.
He’s a f****** (racial slur).”Boss’s wife instantly turned frosty and said firmly and directly, “I’m sorry, but that kind of language is completely unacceptable in my house. We don’t talk like that about people under my roof.” Jane seemed kind of taken aback and mumbled what seemed to me a half-hearted apology.
Several of us (including the boss’s wife) were curious — we’ve heard of Tinder, but we’re not in the dating scene — how does it work?
So Jane pulled out her phone and demonstrated the app — what you see of someone’s profile, how you swipe, etc.
Should I urge the doctor to address the office generally about inappropriate racial slurs and remind entire office that it’s not acceptable?
Should I say something to the wife that it’s noticed that she’s being cool? There’s no reason to say anything to the doctor or his wife about it.
Should I say something to the doctor that his wife is being cool to an employee (though to be honest, she has limited contact with us)?
Should I say something to Jane that she might be well served by apologizing again to the wife for her inappropriate behavior? His wife reacted entirely appropriately in the moment — she called Jane out on a horrible thing.
She’s continuing to react appropriately now; people being chilly to you is a reasonable consequence when you say a horrible racist thing, and Jane will need to live with that consequence.
Boss’s wife then redirected the conversation to a different topic and we all followed suit, but she was noticeably chilly towards Jane the rest of the evening.
Later on, boss’s wife said quietly to me, “It is a good thing I don’t work in the office, because Jane is not winning any points with me.” I could tell she was still steamed.